There are things that are considered a total turn off when dating, besides being flirty flirty with every creature of the opposite sex of course. Some of these things will, or might make you lose a chance with a person that you really like or fancy, and probably wants to develop something deeper with.
Let’s discuss some of them:
1.Talking negatively about your exes and why things didn’t work out
Even if your date asks you about your ex, do not give them the full story as you’re yet to get to know each other well enough for him/her to decide whether they should believe that you were the victim in the previous relationships, or think that you were the oppressor.
Answer with a simple ‘It just didn’t work out’ at first, before going into details because you might also make your date assume that you only attract bad people or that you are a complainer that only sees flaws on other people.
2.Discussing your problems, including financial problems
During the initial stages of dating, avoid discussing negative issues concerning your life as much as possible. No one wants to feel like they’re getting involved with a person that has so much baggage because that could only mean that they’re signing up for unhappiness or bad luck.
Whether its during a date or when chatting, do not start talking of how you don’t have a good job because so and so played you or you owed money to too many people and that’s why you lost your business and now you don’t know what to do and so on, because when you talk in such a manner, a smart person will think that you’re making excuses and the skeptical ones will think you’re trying to find a way to borrow money from them or use them financially.
3.Not giving them space or smothering your date.
People have their own lives to live and things to do so give them space to do so. Calling your date every now and then, blowing up their phone with messages every few minutes, showing up at their work place or residence; will only push them away.
Lying is one of the biggest turn offs when dating. If a person lies about almost everything yet you’re just on the dating stage, what kind of lies will they tell when you actually get into a relationship. For most people, even one lie is enough for them to block your number on their phone, delete it or save it as ‘do not pick’ or the J or B word (it all depends with how pissed they are or the kind of lie you told).
5.Lack of ambition, goals and drive.
No one wants to date a lazy person that has no plans for the future, or has dreams but is doing nothing to make them happen.
When asked what your life goals are or where you see yourself in several years and you name small things that show no difference with where you are at right now, that can only mean you have no ambition and that’s a turn off.
6.Taking hours or even a day(s) to return a call or text.
This is not only rude, but it also makes your date/crush feel like you’re disrespecting them, their time and energy and also like you’re taking them for a ride or wasting their time.
7.Pointing out a flaw in or on the person you’re dating
No one is perfect! Everyone has flaws that you will eventually see at some point, but don’t mention them yet. If you both get into a relationship later, then it’ll be OK to mention and you will have learnt how to address them, if it’s necessary for you to do so without getting into any trouble or hurting your partner.
Let me give you an example with myself. I speak slowly, that’s my nature and there’s nothing I can do about it. If a guy asks me why I speak so slow or says something like, ‘can’t you speak any faster?’ it doesn’t matter how much I like this guy, that turns me off immediately and this is why..
Because that’s just a minor flaw that’s on the surface, what will happen if you get to know the many other flaws that come with the whole package that is me, what will you say and do then? Yeah!
No one wants to be with a person that agrees to plans and then bails at the last minute. No one wants to be with a ‘might show up’ ‘might text back’ ‘might call’ kind of person. So if you flake on plans a lot, then you’re turning off someone, somewhere.
9.Lack of hygiene and personal grooming.
You better have fresh breath and smell fresh if not good when you go out on dates or when meeting your date. Also look presentable and nice. Have a clean shaven beard for guys or armpits for the ladies. Wear well pressed, clean clothes and have clean shoes on. Simple!
10.Lack of patience and respect with and for your date
Don’t be that person that wants to jump in for a serious kiss on your first date or wants to visit a guy’s house immediately.. for the lady, or to take the lady to your house so soon.. for the guy. Be patient and let things happen at the right time. Rushing things could lead to losing what could have been something nice and beaut
featured photo source: pixabay